Fitz didn't even know how the topic had come up, but as soon as the words had slipped out, there was no taking them back.
He was so dead.
"So you're telling me you've never had caffeine before?" Sophie looked incredulous. "You were looking for me in the human world for years. Get out."
"Uh... yeah?" Fitz answered.
"Nope. I refuse to let that happen." Sophie dug through her pockets, before pulling out a can of soda. "I got this when I went to the human world for cookies." She handed it to Fitz, who was still confused.
"It's really, really good." Sophie tried to convince him.
"Yeah, are you scared Fitzy? I'll drink it if you don't want to." Keefe joked.
"Stop trying to sell me – oh, forget it." He said, downing the caffeinated beverage in a single gulp. Everyone held a breath. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi... Hey, this isn't so ba-
And then the caffeine rush hit.
His eyes went comically wide as if he was in a cartoon, and Keefe was the first to catch on. "DUCK AND COVER!" He yelled, diving behind a couch. The others followed in a similar fashion.
"WOW!" Fitz boomed. "THIS STUFF IS GREAT!"
"Maybe if we're very, very quiet, he won't see us," Dex muttered.
He slammed the empty can on the ground, crushing it with childlike glee. "MOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!" He yelled, blurring the words together so fast the came out in one syllable.
"How long will he do this?" Marella groaned. "I can't take much more."
"Make it stop," Tam pleaded. "Sophie, this wasn't your best idea."
"I kind of figured." Sophie looked grim. "He'll stop soon... Probably."
"Or not," Linh observed, watching Fitz, who had taken a newfound pleasure in his telekinesis and was bouncing across the room, giggling like a madman. "Be careful!" She cried to no avail at Fitz. He laughed and did a cartwheel in midair, before landing on his face and giggling some more.
"This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen," Keefe whispered, transfixed on Fitz.
"ABCDEFGHIJK-OOPS! HI, BIANA!"
Biana sighed. "Hi, Fitz."
"I feel GREAT! This stuff is GREAT! My favourite number is EIGHT!" On the last word of each sentence, he'd run around and knock things over, making the couch, the table, the plates, and ten million other things fall down. Everyone, minus Fitz, crawled under the overturned table to shield themselves. Fitz continued to giggle in a very un-Fitz-like fashion. "That rhymed."
"This might have been funny if it weren't so, so terrifying." Sophie seemed mildly amused.
"Don't just stand there!" Linh cried. "We have to help him!"
"How? The guy's like a gigantic kindergartener." She pointed to Fitz, who was singing something about a fish running away with a spoon, extremely off-key. "A really strong kindergartener, but a kindergartener."
Fitz began to run around, clapping and laughing like a deranged hyena; all the way up the stairs. "Oh, no," Biana whispered.
"Oh, yes," Tam replied, fixing his eyes on Sophie. "This is your fault!"
"My fault? How is this my fault?"
"You gave him the can!" Marella hissed. A large bang, followed by a suspicious sounding crash, sounded from above.
"Let's go, before Fitz blows us all to shreds." Marella sighed.
Soon, everyone had followed them up. Linh, the last to come above, saw five of the elves huddled around Fitz, who was snoring softly. Dex, Keefe, and Tam lifted Fitz up, carrying him below and setting him on the couch.
Biana sighed. "Let's never discuss this again. Ever."