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  • I will start posting my opinion of unlocked with a fanfic tomorrow 

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    • Yay!

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    • yay!!

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    • YAY

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    • Chapter 1

      Sophie never seen a cache in action

      She felt so tiny.

      "Oralie? are you there?"

      She watched the pitch black room.

      She watched as the memories unfolded.

      it was like a movie screen that couldn’t be stopped.

      Sophie gasped as she saw young oralie and Mr. Forkle.

      Oralie didn't even have a Circlet on.

      Not any pink either.

      "Mr forkle, I wanted to give you this for some time."

      Younger Oralie held up a hair ball which contained her-

      "My DNA, I want to help you make a difference and I hope this is for the best."

      Forkle nodded.

      "The other biological  parent should be coming soon. I suggest you leave while you can." 

      Oralie left.

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    • That was really good!!!!

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    • Thanks! I really didn't know how I should discribe it and that was way shorter then usual

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    • CustardBursts
      CustardBursts removed this reply because:
      rude
      23:54, February 20, 2020
      This reply has been removed
    • CustardBursts
      CustardBursts removed this reply because:
      problem
      23:54, February 20, 2020
      This reply has been removed
    • CustardBursts
      CustardBursts removed this reply because:
      problem
      23:55, February 20, 2020
      This reply has been removed
    • Just some constructive criticism:

      Didn't Oralie say that it was going to be about stellarlune tho?

      No offense...

      Just curious:)



      JaguarOfTheLostCities

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    • Nice

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    • Chapter 2

      Sophie came back to reality and thought about what she saw.

      Oralie doesn't know either.

      "Sophie,"

      Edaline said in a soft voice.

      This is my real family.

      not anyone else.

      This is where I belong.

      Sophei sighed.

      "What's wrong sophie? Ever since orali-'

      "Oralie is my biological mom!"

      Sophie blurred.

      Edaline didn't even truble a little bit.

      Like it didn't even bother her.

      Edaline was now sittting on her bed.

      "Sophie I don't care about who your biological parent is, all i know is that we love you like a daughter because you are our daughter."

      Sophie smiled.

      "Thanks Eda- Mom, I feel that way too"

      Sophie enbraced her mom.

      This is my home.

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    • Yay! This is soo good!!

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    • Nice

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    • wow! this is great!

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    • Chapter 3

      Sophie went to visit Keefe.

      "Hey Elwin!"

      Elwin came out and he looked so tired.

      "What's wrong?"

      Sophie asked

      "This has been the longest two days ever" He

      answered

      "Why?"

      "I can't tell what ability he's getting."

      "So?"

      "Usually i can and his cells aren't responding to anything.

      Even bullhorn was going nuts"

      "Wow, I'm sorry Elwin"

      "It's not you, he should be ready in maybe . . . two days."

      "That's good!"

      "Yes it is," 

      "Oh and where's Ro?'

      "Oh I think she went with your bodyguards"

      "Oh thanks Elwin"

      Sophie left the building  reliefed

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    • OoH this is cool!

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    • That was great!

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    • Awesome. More!

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    • THIS IS AMAZING!

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    • awesome! Write more! I love where htis story is going

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    • (SRY!!!! I forgot about this, then school got in the way and life . .  anyways here's chapter three!!)

      Chapter 3

      "Ro? You out there?"

      Ro was throwing Daggers as she saw he pet imp, Iggy with her.

      "Another makeover I see"

      Sophie pointed to iggy's Teal fur.

      "Still not doing pink are you?"

      No response.

      "Elwin told me that he's getting better."

      Ro stopped.

      "Yeah, lord hunkyhair is getting another ability"

      Sophie looked at ro and how . . . sad she looked.

      she's probably bored.

      "Last time I checked, he was dreaming about throwing a party in contribute for the ballad of Bo and Ro'

      "Sounds like a hunkyhair dream"

      Ro smiled.

      "I didn't do ice blue, i made it teal like your boyfriend's eye color"

      Sophie blushed.

      "Sophie! Keefe's alive!"

      Sophie turned to see the one person she didn't want to see after the teal color idea.

      Fitz

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    • Ahhh that was so good!!

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    • Ya it is

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    • chapter 4

      "Fitz?"

      He flashed his perfect smile.

      "Keefe just woke up and he wanted you to be there, so .. . He's at Elwin's"

      Fitz said.

      Sophie gave him a hug,

      "Thank you"

      Then turned to Ro.

      "Come on!" 

      Sophie quickly took out her light leaping crystal and light leaped away.

                                                       .                 .                .

      "LORD HUNKY HAIR!!!" 

      ro shouted.

      "Ro! Shhhh, that's not what he wants to hear when he wakes up"

      They walked in,

      "Keefe?"

      "Sophie?"

      Keefe turned around.

      there he was,

      living,

      breathing.

      alive.

      Sophie went over and tackled him with a hug.

      "wow, didn't expect that foster"

      "Well we missed you, you could've died" 

      keefe smirked.

      'I missed you too"

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    • awwwwwwwwww that was so goooooooooood

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    • Awesome! I love this! When is the next chapter?

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    • awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! that was sooooooooooooooooooooooo good!!!

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    • Horrible spelling. Not very good. Sorry. I don't really like it. Way to short. Sorry!

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    • Here's some unsolicited advice, feel free to ignore it: The characters are pretty funny, but the sentences are a little too short and choppy and there's a lot of dialouge. Try to balance it out with longer sentences and more action. Also, if you're writing this on Google Docs, there's a spell-check function. I try to use it in my writing and it helps me out a lot. 

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    • Noice

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    • 141.156.181.161 wrote: Horrible spelling. Not very good. Sorry. I don't really like it. Way to short. Sorry!

      I know you are just stating your opinion but I see no misspelled words, and that's kind of rude.

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    • I think it’s good

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    • 141.156.181.161 wrote:
      Horrible spelling. Not very good. Sorry. I don't really like it. Way to short. Sorry!

      That's just mean.

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    • Hermabeth Foster wrote:

      141.156.181.161 wrote: Horrible spelling. Not very good. Sorry. I don't really like it. Way to short. Sorry!

      I know you are just stating your opinion but I see no misspelled words, and that's kind of rude.

      Yes, i think it is wonderful. dont say rude things!

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    • Stellarlune123 wrote:
      Here's some unsolicited advice, feel free to ignore it:

      The characters are pretty funny, but the sentences are a little too short and choppy and there's a lot of dialouge. Try to balance it out with longer sentences and more action. Also, if you're writing this on Google Docs, there's a spell-check function. I try to use it in my writing and it helps me out a lot. 

      Sorry but have you read knockout by K.A Holt? That's full of short sentences

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    • I'm not saying they're bad, but sometimes there's a line break in the middle of a sentence. That might be a formatting problem with the wiki rather than an issue with your writing, though. 

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    • Chapter 5

      "So that was basically what happened," Sophie told Bex, Lex and Rex

      Dex walked into Sophie's bedroom.

      "Thanks for watching them" he said, "I never thought that they can be calm."

      Sophie nodded, "They wanted to hear about all of our adventures with the neverseen"

      "I mean, they are cool stories. It's just, when will the neverseen strike next? It's been three weeks"

      She sighed, "I know, but I think we need to go with the flow, now enough about that, how was the meeting with the council?"

      "It was okay, I was trying to push the pyrokinetics and why the ability shouldn't be forbidden."

      He turned to his sibblings, "Alright time to go home, Mom and Dad will be coming home soon."

      They quickly got up and left.

      Leaving Sophie wondering, when will they come back?

      She pushed out the doubt and light leaped to Keefe's house, for maybe he can solve some questions.



      She knocked on his door, "Keefe? I need to talk about you, it's been-"

      "It's been three days foster, i think I can live without you"

      She was shocked by this answer and let her fury guide her.

      She twisted the handle and stepped into a different realm.

      "Keefe, what is this?!" She gasped, pointing to the different color sticky notes and drawings.

      "It's the truth," He answred dryly.

      "But- are these questions? And drawings of . . .?"

      The dark circles under his eyes looked like they darkened.

      "My past, you did say to put them on paper"

      She stared in amazment, the draws were so pretty, then something caught her eye.

      The gold book.

      The one he didn't share

      she reached out to grab it.

      "Oh no you don't, These are just for me"

      He snatched it out of her hand. why is he acting like this?

      "What's wrong, you can trust me."

      She spoke calmly.

      "I found my ability." Her eyes got wider, "What is it?"

      "I guess there's no point of hiding it now"

      he waved his hand . . .

      There wasn't anything then she knew what it was.

      A flow of wind filled the room, while Sophie stared at Keefe's hands, shots of electricity shot into the air.

      In the middle of the chaos she finnaly had the courage to say, "You're a guster and a Charger?!"



                 

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    • AHHHHH!!!!! CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!

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    • This is great!

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    • A FANDOM user
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