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Siren Songs are melodies that are known to sound like a combination of a whale's flippers clapping, a screaming toddler and nails on a chalkboard. It is known to be Sir Conley's signature favorite form for detention, much to the dislike of the prodigies, and he believes it to be an example of art and nature. The shrill whine is earsplitting, and Sir Conley believes it to be enlightening and makes the prodigies hear every note. In Sophie's opinion this is better than ball room dancing.

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