just some of my favorite poems that i’ve written :)
i think i am a lot like pomegranates. you love pomegranates but hate peeling them. it’s too much work, there’s to many stains on your t shirt. i love pomegranates, i love the act of cracking open the skin and carefully peeling away each layer to find the beauty within. you hated this, you’d rather eat an apple, it’s easier you said. i think this is love for you. you like it when it’s easy, but hate the process. you want the beauty inside, but don’t want to find it. you think peeling off a girls clothes like you can peel an orange to find the sweetness inside is fine. you hated that i had infinitely more layers, that you had to handle me more delicately. your impatience made me believe i was hard to love, but that’s not the case. you just wouldn’t take the time to find me beneath the thick outer shell. yet i stood ready with the knife, my arms open for you to carve away to find me, but still you complained. it was to much work, you said, so i did it for you. i carved out pieces of myself for you, but it still wasn’t enough. you couldn’t handle the stains of my blood on your t shirt, just like you couldn’t stand the pomegranate stain. i would have opened hundred a pomegranates for you, but you chose the apple.
my heart is full of holes from your acid-dipped love, you could smell my burning flesh, but still you refused to release me. you’d rather keep me caged, because what did it matter if i was dead or alive as long as i was only yours?
i still sit amongst broken promises, trying to piece them together like a puzzle, hoping i might see a glimpse of what we used to be. but they’re just that, broken. why do i still grasp for your love like a lifeline when you’d rather leave me to drown amongst your lies and manipulation? your depravity would die with me, your secrets building my casket, your cruelty the grave i’m trapped in.
i will always be in love with the version of you in my head. the one who didn’t say those things to me, the one who wouldn’t treat me like you did. i will always love the boy you will never be.
Every part of me screamed at you to love me, but somewhere deep inside me, a little girl cried, holding herself, wondering “am I so unlovable?”.
I have always been a stepping stone, only there to patch the holes. A place to rest till they move on. But no one ever sees the holes those patches leave, the holes that bleed and bleed and bleed.
i love him, but he is not mine to love
i have loved him since the moment my eyes landed on him,
from the moment i felt his hand fall into mine
his name was etched on my heart, his face seared in my mind,
it was like fate had designed
i am beyond reason, beyond help
i burn for him, i freeze for him
i grow and i wilt, i change and i remake
i try and i try, but to no avail
he is not mine, oh no, he belongs to her.
who ever she is, i do not know.
who ever she is, i hope she sees,
i will love him for eternity,
this man i’ve never really known, he is the one for me.
You say you love the rain, yet hide away inside when it pours.
You said you loved the sun, but flee beneath the shady tree while it shines.
You claim you love the wind, but you close up all your windows.
You tell the stars you love them, but close your eyes to their brightest hours.
You praise the ocean waves, but never stray into its depths.
So tell me my dear, why is it that I am afraid, when you tell me you love me too?
Why is it that I fear the hand I hold will leave my fingers cold and empty?
Why is it the arms that surround me should open and set me free unwillingly?
Why is it the heart I long for should be forever closed?
Why is it you love me but do not know me?
Fingerprints, those subtle whispers of you,
Invisible imprints on everything I do.
Upon my skin, on clothes, entwined in my hair,
And deep within my heart, you're always there.
Traces of your touch, like secrets my soul keeps,
Beautiful memories in the night, when my heart beats.
As night descends, I lay awake and yearn,
For the warmth of your fingers, for your soul's return.
These last remnants, like secrets, beneath the surface hide,
Ghosts of your touch in the darkness, my whole being cries
For in the absence of your presence, my heart slowly, slowly dies.
In the depths of my mind, Im telling a lie,
I claim I'm okay, I swear I don't cry.
I feign indifference, saying I'm fine,
But beneath the surface, I walk a thin line.
I'm slowly fading, with each passing day,
This irreparable hole in my chest just won't go away.
It widens and deepens, a relentless tide,
Soon, it might engulf me, there’s no place to hide.
My friends, they try to read my face,
My family attempts to find their place.
But none can fathom the pain that I bear,
The weight of your absence, the crushing despair.
You've broken my soul, shattered my heart,
In this lonely abyss, I'm torn wide apart.
I lie to the world, and to myself too,
But the real truth is, I'm still missing you.