User blog:Mint chocolat-mallowmelt/Why I should be elected for Duck Captain, President, or Whatever

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch

My application composed solely from Disney lyrics
Open your eyes, let's begin

Oh, I just can't wait to be king

Wish I could be, part of that world.

No one saying, "do this”

No one saying, "be there”

If this is where the monarchy is headed

Count me out-

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here

You think I'm an ignorant savage

You think the only people who are people

Are the people who look and think like you

Ah, those good old days when we were useful

Yet I have to give you credit for my start

So here I'll stay

I'll lead the way

I can lead with pride, I can make us strong

(Though I do like breaking femurs)

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Now see here!

This child is getting wildly out of wing-

Hey, it's okay, it's okay

You're welcome

You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot

And you haven't got a clue!

Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed-

But who cares?

No big deal

I want MOOOOOOORE!!!!

There's no use in grumbling!

I'm gonna be the main event

Like no king was before!

Surrounded by enormous piles of money!

Well, anyway let me say you're welcome!

How can there be so much that you don't know-?

YOU’RE WELCOME!

YOU’RE WELCOME!

And thank you.

My application written solely in Iambic Pentameter
Greetings. Friends, captains, and fellow Strange Ducks.

I am hereby running for a Captain.

If I’m elected as Strange Duck Captain.

I shall not really do much different.

I’ll continue being my normal self.

Normal for me. Not by normal standards.

Plus I’ll recruit people without blackmail.

At each lunch, I sit under a table.

Meowing while people feed me Goldfish.

You know, that takes on a whole new weird now.

I used to forget my being a fish.

Well, cannibalism is still legal.

But really, why is my preferred food fish?

Because I am a Strange Duck, that is why!

Remember when I got stuck in all-caps?

It turns out there’s a light you have to press.

<p style="text-align:right;">The light-up button turns the all-caps off.

<p style="text-align:right;">Seriously, I’d have never guessed it.

<p style="text-align:right;">The horrid woes of being a Strange Duck.

<p style="text-align:right;">Why does nothing good rhyme with the word Duck?

<p style="text-align:right;">If there were more ones I would make this rhyme.

<p style="text-align:right;">But sadly, I also don’t have the time.

My application that contains no "e"s
<p style="text-align:center;">Lol, why did I ink so many applications? I think I’m a bit too avid to turn into a Captain of this club. I thought I should stop writing at a point that was long ago, but I sadly did dismiss such a notion. Alas, I did commit to writing this, and so I shall. I would cotton to assuming this Captain-hood, as I am wholly odd. In fact, I am a Goldfish, as you no doubt know. In addition, I am partial to drying yours truly with a racoon. I also odd in that I assist whilst my buddy stuck a googly iris to a bunch of chairs, sofas, and stuff in Minty’s building (Sorry, Minty). I also stuck such an iris to Minty’s back which, thinking of it, Minty may also not know about. Oops.