Board Thread:Short Stories and Fanfictions/@comment-47.184.159.121-20191113015753/@comment-43957690-20191113021533

This is pretty good!

I just noticed one litte grammar mistake-and it's not even that big of a deal. Every time someone new speaks, it's an entirely new paragraph. Two people can't pleak in the same paragraph, so it would look something like this:

“Take me to Keefe!” ordered Lady Gisela. Sophie glanced over at Mr.Forkle. his eyes glinted with worry.

“No,” said Sophie, “I won’t.”

like I said, it's no big deal. What really matters is how good your storyline is, and I think you're doing prety good with that.