Talk:Sophie and Fitz/@comment-43347423-20200110020001

In my very not-expert opinion, SoFitz is an unhealthy relationship. In HealthEd today we learned about unhealthy relationships versus healthy ones, and it got heavy enough that I found myself turning to books to distract myself.

Then we started discussing anger.

I was already thinking about KotLC as usual, and started thinking of SoFitz. The main criteria for anger was that you feel the need not to do something because it will make them unnecessarily angry. Fitz DEFINITELY does this in Legacy.

Now, if this was all Fitz did, it wouldn’t quite be unhealthy. Unhealthy is when multiple things go wrong.

But there’s more...

The next one I noticed was isolation. Isolation is basically when someone tries to control who you can see and eventually turns into them just wanting you to only see them. They often make you feel bad for seeing other people. Fitz might not do this consciously, but... Sophie feels guilty when he sees her with Keefe. That’s isolation.

And you know what other category that falls into?

Guilt. I used the word very intentionally above. It’s definitely guilt that Sophie feels when Fitz catches her BEING FRIENDS WITH KEEFE. Guilt is when someone intentionally uses guilt to make you do something, and while Fitz is more subtle about it than I’ve ever experienced (yes, I’ve experienced this one, but it wasn’t subtle at all so it didn’t affect me much) but he definitely does it. The first time he’s in Legacy, after he hears she’s unmatchable, he says he’s calm and that he wants Sophie to remember how calm he is and know that if she’d just told him he still would’ve been calm. That’s guilt-tripping.

Which leads into control. Control is when you try to control what someone does, and this one will be short because it’s pretty much the same as guilt in this case. But Fitz was trying to guilt-trip Sophie into telling him more things in the future, which is control.

Now for disrespect. The only thing Fitz does to disrespect Sophie is just to try and get her to tell him things she doesn’t want to tell him, mostly her biological parents’ identities. If he’d dropped it after she said no, I wouldn’t list it here, but he didn’t. He guessed, and when she told him not to, he kept right on guessing. That’s disrespecting the boundary she kept setting.

I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I DONT THINK FITZ IS A HORRIBLE PERSON. He’s just not good in a situation with someone who’s unmatchable like Sophie is. He could be great in other relationships and work on the things he did wrong. But if Shannon makes Sophie choose Fitz, it won’t sit right with me.

And yes, Keefe does show some of these criteria. EVERYONE DOES. I bet if you compared these to yourself, you’d find a match or two (mine is anger)

There are more criteria, and remember that if you are in a bad relationship, get out of it. If you want further information or want to see where my information came from, this is a GREAT website we looked at in class:

https://www.joinonelove.org/