Board Thread:Clubs/@comment-44390494-20191206064730/@comment-44426813-20191222020658

It's very creative.

I need help. I have an intro for my book, but it sucks. Tell me what I should change.

'''Blair put her head inbetween her knees, pushing them against her ears. Glass shattered. Threats were said. The police even came and knocked on the door. Everything seemed to stop. The parents cleaned everything up quickly, turned on the tv, and opened the door.'''

'''The police man who was at the door, was really tall and intimidating. He came into the house, looking around. He spotted the tv. He nodded, and said "Turn it down." Blair 's parents reluctantly agreed.'''

'''Blair rushed to her room, crying. That fight was all her fault. She came home with a C+ on her test, and her parents started to agrue about Blair's punishment. Then they started shouting at each other. Blair grabbed a bottle of medicine, took a pill, and went to bed.'''

'''At around eleven p.m., Blair's dog started barking. That woke Blair up. She heared soft commotion from the kitchen, and went down. She saw her parents. They were arguing about the dinner for that week. Blair checked the calender. It was three days before Christmas. They were actually arguing about the dinner for that day. Blair was allergic to Turkey, and her brother, Sam, was allergic to Ham. This had always been a problem.'''

'''Her parents spotted Blair, and started yelling. That was all they did. Until Blair broke down into tears. She already was depressed enough. This was making her worse. Blair covered her ears, ran up to her room, and slammed the door shut. It barely muffled the sounds. Blair rocked herself back and forth, trying to calm herself down.'''