Board Thread:Clubs/@comment-43432691-20191126194337/@comment-70.162.0.122-20191220132548

I think I'm going though something similar. I think I have depression, and also occasionally sucicidal thoughts. Even though I used to ignore them, that's getting more challenging to do over time. Last week during our lunch break, I broke down in tears. A lot of things are going on in my life. My mom gave our two dogs away without any notice, I lost an assignment that was a third of my grade, a 6 ounce container spilled in my backpack, spreading from the back to the rest of my papers, therefore ruining them, my little brother is locking himself away in his room (he loved the dogs more than pretty much anybody else), and like me, I think he might be dealing with depression, which I don't want him to go though. That's not all though. Sorry, this might be kinda long. One of my family members is taking drugs, my grades are dropping, I have had 7 tests in the past few weeks, and the problem is, after all the years of bad thoughts brewing up, I've had nobody to turn to. When I broke down during break, every once in a while a girl came over and asked if I was okay (I'm lucky to be at a school with mostly pleasant people, besides the girl that stabbed me with the pencil, and the other one that hates my guts). When they came over I told them I was fine and everything was okay, that I was just having a hard day. Then a boy (I'll make up a name, Brad) came over. He sat there quietly, then asked if I needed anything. Instead of seeming sympathetic like everybody else, Brad seemed to have more empathy. It was as if he actually understood, so I told him some of the things going on in my life, then the biggest problem. My thoughts of self harm. He told me that he had been going though something similar. He is the only person that knows. When he said telling somebody would make it easier, I said I wasn't ready. Later that day, my friend (hmm, I'll call him Charles), asked if everything was okay during lunch. I wasn't crying, in fact I had put on my mask of happiness, and said I was fine, but sat in the corner of the lunch room. My life has been so hard, and I just wish all my struggles would end. Nobody else knows besides him. Not my brother, friends, or even my divorced parents. I might not actually attempt anything, but in a few months, who knows? The thoughts might be too much.

And on THAT note, I would just like to say...

my thirteenth birthday is in six days, on the 26th. *internaly cheers, trying to fight of the sadness*

Sincerely, a twelve year old fangirl

~NoNameIdeas