Talk:Tam Song/@comment-174.109.158.107-20190104014055

Do I have a problem? I feel like the amount of Tam fanfics i have is problematic...anyway, sorry I'm like spamming this page. But here's another one!

I woke up screaming.

I scrambled into a sitting position, breathing hard and scanning the space. My room was dark and silent, the curtains over the window letting in a sliver of moonlight that draped across my tangled comforter. My panicked breathing was the only thing that broke the quiet of the early morning.

I looked across the room and saw Linh curled up in her bed, her hair covering part of her face as the silver ends shone in the light from outside. Relief flooded through me, and I flopped back onto my mattress, trying to steady my breathing as my heart refused to stop pounding.

In and out, in and out...

Images still floated around my head like tiny pieces of the puzzles Linh and I used to do. Linh was standing in your room--not this one, I realized. Our old one back at Choralmere, the one with the balcony. And she wasn't standing either--she was on her knees. There were shadows everywhere, and screaming. Linh was screaming as the shadowflux hit her, and her cries mixed with the sound of breaking bones. She was looking at someone, tears running down her face as she shouted something at them.

In and out, in and out...

Me. She was looking at me. I was the one doing this to her, ignoring her pleas to stop.

I gritted my teeth against the self-loathing and nausea that swept through me at the thought, and gave up on keeping calm. I had to get out of the dark.

I crept through the hallway down to the kitchen, determined not to wake the others. this was my problem, not theirs.

I snapped my fingers before I even reached the doorway, and the kitchen flooded with light. I needed it. As I leaned against the counter, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling, I made a silent vow not to go back to sleep. It wasn't worth depriving Linh of her much-needed rest as well, should I wake up again.

Was I afraid of the dark? Not exactly...I was just afraid of what I could do with it.

When I was younger, I used to be terrified of being by myself with the lights off. That's why my parents loved locking me in my room. Linh would go sleep with them, and I'd be all alone. Safe to say, I never got much sleep those nights.

And then I manifested, and it was like my worst nightmare and my dream come true. I could finally  control what had scared me for so long, but that was also the problem. I had to connect with it. And it wasn't long before I found out being a Shade wasn't exactly viewed as a good thing.

"Tam?"

Linh's voice jerked my out of my thoughts. My sister stood in the doorway to the kitchen, one hand on the frame, the colors of her pajamas muted in the darkness of the hallway.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and I considered lying. But I didn't have to say anything--nothing I could've told her would've convinced Linh I was all right. So, she came over and wrapped her arms around me, speaking into my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said immediately, putting my arms around her as well. I'd said that to her so many times, it was second nature now. "I'll be fine."

Linh pulled away and smiled at me, but it was the sad smile that was so familiar on her face. It was the smile that I had seen every time she looked at me during our time at Exillium, or whenever our parents were scolding us for something we couldn't control. It was the expression I had come to associate with my sister--a simple need to comfort, not caring what she was going through, but unable to hide it completely.

Linh was the one that our parents wanted. She was the one Wylie wanted. She was the one that had never left.

So where did that leave me?

Sorry that was so long, lol. But just imagining Tam having nightmares about his time with the Neverseen, or feeling guilty for leaving...*sniff* STAY STRONG TAM

Backyard Windchimes