Board Thread:Short Stories and Fanfictions/@comment-43347423-20200111144721/@comment-43347423-20200210155938

Slinkizy wrote: I really enjoy your writing style! I wish there were a few more visual descriptions, but otherwise, it’s great! So, a couple of pointers for the future:

1. As much as I LOVE Sokeefe, the way their relationship progressed was very fast. As soon as Keefe woke up, Sophie started having a lot more heart flutters, etc. which changed the whole characterization of the Sophie and Keefe relationship.

2. Fitz’s behaviour was a bit off- he seemed angry at the start for no particular reason- and yeah, it’s Fitz, but he seemed pretty chill at the end of Legacy, though I have no idea what would happen if Sophie started dating Keefe.

One more thing I have to add is that the first part of your story seemed very ship based- but that’s mainly okay, since Shannon is going to have to confront that eventually.

Overall, great job, and keep up the good work!

i COMPLETELY agree with this. the first part of my fanfic is just, um, well... oof. but its kinda too late to change anything now, so....