User blog:Diathe13/I can't handle it anymore

Here I go again

So I felt like I was doing pretty good. Everyone was encouraging me, helping me, and stuff like that. But today I was just sick of being me. I keep thinking about how many mistakes I've made, and how much harder it is for my mother. It makes me wish I hadn't been made. I just completely broke down. I nearly passed out at dinner and I started crying. I'm just so ashamed of myself for everything I've done. I've been trying so hard to stay positive, and I was doing well for awhile. But like I said, I just broke down. I don't even know what I need to live for. I have my one real life friend and everyone on Fandom. But I don't feel like I'm needed. I think everyone would be much better without me. I hope the Lord has a plan for me, but right now I am just nothing. I put on a mask and pretend to be happy, but I'm not. I feel lonely. I feel left out. I can't handle it anymore. It's too much. Too many lonely years, and I just want to end it. I'm tried of being alone, I just wish so badly, that I had someone who was like me. I blame myself for every little thing I do wrong. I'm not getting enough sleep because of it. I lay at night and think of how many mistakes I've made that day. I can't stand myself. I just want my life to end. I don't think I'll kill myself, but I don't think I'll be on Fandom very much anymore. Maybe I'll change my mind, but right now I just don't want to.